Ramblings About Life, Love and Two Wheels

It

2011-06-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

While I haven't been writing as much as I had hoped, it isn't for a lack of wanting. And I don't want to sound cliche and say that I have been so busy that I just don't have the chance to sit down and write either. But truth be told, 20 hour days a couple of times a week do limit the amount of time I can dedicate to this. Maybe I need to start scheduling everything including the fun stuff.

So what brings me back? The photo to right does. I know for sure that it was taken at Bartlett, I just can't remember what year. I would have to guess it was 2008, maybe 2009. I'm honestly just too lazy to look it up. I could count backwards...2011? Nope, haven't been on a bike yet this year. 2010? Nope, only rode twice all year, on trail, during the same week. 2009? Nah. A broken rib at Jackson Park ended what would have been my best season based on my fitness level. So I guess it was 2008 afterall. Wow nearly three years ago. Times sure have changed. Do I miss it? I guess that depends on what "it" was in the first place.

ikyaudio In The Press

2010-09-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

Check out Time Out Chicago, my brother Eric is getting some press.

Who Is Your Angel?

2010-08-20T18:32:00.001-07:00

Don't wait, this wont be here long.

Adventures In Babysitting

2010-08-13T00:29:00.000-07:00

With the kick off of the fall television season just around the corner, two very different but intertwined scenarios will be taking place week in and week out around my house. The first will be tearful goodbyes, mostly from the kids I might add, as Jeni gets into a taxi cab to head out to the airport for work. The second, and sometimes more difficult of the two involves me opening my wallet and handing over large sums of money to a slew of baby sitters.

Tonight was probably the funniest exchange I may have ever had though. Picture this, it is 2 am and I am just getting home from a long nite at work. As I slowly open the backdoor so as to not wake the sleeping kids, I am greeted by the sound of...nothing. Okay I say to myself, no biggie, Meg our brand new baby sitter must have fallen asleep on the couch, I will just go and tiptoe into the living room and wake her up. So I slowly creep into the front room trying to avoid the notoriously loud floor boards that have been known to sometimes squeak so loud they wake up the neighbors next door. I finally reach the living room, peer around the corner as my eyes adjust to the darkness and...no one is there. Humph! Wait, is that the t.v. I hear downstairs? Yep, she must be downstairs. So I quickly make my way downstairs, the t.v. is on, and a bit loud, so I do my best to make my presence known first so I don't scare the heck out of the new girl. I round the corner at the bottom of the stairs and...Wait!, that's not the girl that was here when I left the house. And she is sound asleep. Hmmm, oh wait I think that might be Collette, or is that her sister, but which sister could it be? They all look alike, dark hair, olive skin
I probably couldn't tell them apart if they all had name tags on.

"Hello", I casually say. Nothing. A bit louder this time, "Ahem, Hello". Nothing, not even a flinch. Shit. "Ello"? Again nothing. I know, I will turn off the t.v., that will probably do the trick. Click!, nada. Okay, at this point I figure Meg and the mystery girl have simply just switched for the evening. Maybe Meg had to go home early or something. Lemme just run upstairs, grab the $100 bucks out of my dresser, make a bit of noise going up and down the stairs and Viola!, mystery girl wakes up. Clomp. clomp, clomp upstairs, grab the cash, clomp, clomp, clomp back downstairs. Nothing. Okay...back to the hellos. Clearing my throat this time "Ahemmmm, hello!?!" . C'mon. Help a brotha out.

So now I slide closer, pick up a few toys along the way, not so quietly put them away hoping for something to wake her up. You guessed it. Nothing. Should I touch her? At this point I still don't even know who I am working with here. So I touch her arm while giving a firm but gentle "Hello", nothing. So I do it again, and again, and again. Shit. Okay at this point about 3 minutes has elapsed. 3 very long minutes. Think. The gentle arm touching isn't working. Do I go for the exposed leg? Nah, I don't want to get kicked in the head. I'll go for the shoulder and give a bit of a squeeze, sorta like a massage, and try using the name Collette. This time she stirs, her eyes flutter, then she turns over. Argh! So close. Now I go in for the kill, a firmer squeeze, a louder call, use her name, at least what I think is her name. Again her eyes flutter, but this time her legs stretch, and eye lid slits open, "Collette, time to wake up" I am now speaking in a loud tone nearly in her ear. At last victory is mine! She squints, stretches, looks around, rubs her eyes and says " where is Meg"? Wha??? Whaddya mean where is she?

After collecting herself for a few moments Collette goes on to explain that no they haven't switched during the night. That in fact they both fell asleep on the couch at some point during the evening. Great! Now I have a missing 18 year old on my hands. I know she isn't on the couch, and I know she isn't in the office on the computer, and I know she isn't sleeping in my bed. Did she leave? No, I think I remember seeing two pairs of flip flops up stairs. Check the bathroom, nothing. Okay now I'm kinda freaked out a bit here. I have Collette who still isn't really sure where she is, and Meg is missing. Lemme go check upstairs again.

I bound back up the stairs flicking on the lights as I go. A quick check in the office reveals nothing. My bed is empty and still made. That leaves two rooms. I creep towards Abbie's open door as I begin to hear it. It is faint at first, but as I get closer, the sound becomes clearer. I turn on the bathroom light so as to have a better view of whatever lies just beyond the threshold of Abbie's door. I steel myself as the sound now grows louder with each step I take closer to her doorway. Now, almost in her room I can make the sound out clearly as it reverberates throughout the room "Snorrrrrrrrre" followed by a quick exhale. "HaHaHaHaHaHa"!!!

Apparently Abbie came downstairs while both Meg and Collette were sound asleep on the couch. She woke up Meg and asked her to come lay down with her, where upon Meg, just like Collette completely passed out, dead to the world. As I was surveying the scene, Abbie snuggled up to the snoring babysitter I heard a faint buzzing sound. Turns out Collette was calling her cellphone from downstairs in an effort to find her. After sending Collette upstairs so that Meg had a friendly face to wake up to, they both sleepily made their way back downstairs with out waking up either sleeping child.

After laughing it all off, the two girls left $100 richer, and only slightly embarrassed. Like they say, I guess all is well that ends well. Only 4 more days til Jeni gets home. Ugh.

Best Intentions

2010-08-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

While I started 2010 with the best of intentions, things just haven't seemed to work out the way I had planned them. Now don't get me wrong, I have zero regrets for the way this year has gone. In fact I may even be a bit happier than I have been most years.

My plan was to spend the spring running with Jeni for we had signed up for a half marathon, then after the race was run I would switch over to full time 'cross. Well somewhere along the way I kinda gave up on the idea of 'cross. I am just not feeling the desire to get back on the bike this year like I have in years past. Maybe it was the team dynamic, maybe I was just sick of getting hurt. I know cycling is all about being a hardman, but if being a hardman means breaking bones and not being able to take care of your family and their needs, then I guess I am no hardman afterall. My body hurts more than it should for my age, and each year it is only getting worse to the point where my daily life is significantly affected. Sleeping? Forget it. Sitting comfortably in a chair? Forget it. Standing for more than a few minutes without having to lean against a wall? I think you see where this is going.

Who knows maybe the desire will return next year, maybe never. For now though I am focusing on running. I discovered running late in life, somewhere in the mid 90's probably, and I only started because I was dared to by my best friend. His girlfriend lived in Beverly and the Ridge Run happened to start right in front of her house. So he and I got our girlfriends to sign up and we all were going to run the 5k together. Somewhere during the race I decided that I actually really liked running and my total lack of effort seemed to be a sign of things to come. Flash forward a year or two and I could show up at a 5k with little preparation and win my age group. Bingo! Now I really like this. Over the next few years I would switch between running and cycling as a way to push myself both physically as well as mentally. But I always seemed to come back to running time and again no matter what.

Now 2010 looks like it will be a reawakening for me as far as running goes. Jeni and I had a great time doing the half. So much so that we signed up for the Chicago Half almost immediately. For the spring half though we trained together, as well as ran the race together. For the fall though we have had to split up our training. Her pace was different from mine, and therefore the gait that I employed ended up hurting my leg. Once I healed I hit the streets at my normal pace and gait and the last 200 miles have been injury free. Not only are my legs feeling great, but they are recovering faster than they ever have. The fast 10 miler that I ran yesterday didn't even register in my legs today, at all. If things go as planned, 2010 may even be the fastest that I have ever been. I am looking to do a sub 1:30 half marathon and if I get in enough speedwork, I hope to finally break 18:00 in the 5k.

Jeni and I have a 10k planned in a few Sundays, so it not only gives me a chance to check progress, but a chance to sharpen my legs in a race, only my second of the year. If this past Sunday is an indicator, then 6:45's should be well within reason, with 6:30's not that far off. If I can maintain my current drive, focus and ability to train, then my 1:30 half will become a reality.

With 'cross season quickly approaching I suppose I have a decision to make. And I believe I may have already answered it. The fact that I turned in all my team bikes over the winter and have yet to finish building a bike that I started way back in February seems to be an indication of my overall lack of enthusiasm for bicycle racing. Who knows maybe half way through the season after the half is finished I may want to get back out there and race. And if I don't I am okay with that too.

Running On Empty

2010-07-28T18:04:00.001-07:00

I have dubbed this summer the "Summer of Do", and so far it has lived up to its billing. I am trying my best to not let the summer slip by without enjoying the things with the kids that truly epitomize what summers meant to me as a kid. From camping to fishing to trips to the zoo, often times all in the same week, I am trying to give the kids something to remember. With only a few short weeks left before Abbie starts a new school and Ethan goes back I am starting to feel the pressure to deliver.

Combined with trying to spend as much time as I can with the kids I am also swamped with Beverly Wood Works , which is ultimately the goal, but this year has been non-stop so far. Don't get me wrong, I created this situation for myself and I have zero regrets. Now I just have to get caught up. Add to the mix that I just worked 10 straight days and I have to go in several hours early again tomorrow and there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to get things done. Thankfully I have no new commissions in the near future, but I am sure that things can change as fast as I can type these words.

On top of family and work I still have to figure out a way to squueze in some quality workouts. While in years past these have all been done on two wheels, this year they are getting done on foot. In 2010 I have only logged about 5-6 hours of ride time whereas last year I probably had nearly 2,000 miles in at this point. As 'cross season quickly approaches I will have to decide if I am even going to attempt to "race" in the next week or two. In the meantime I am training for the Chicago Half Marathon, a distance that I still find fun, versus the marathon which I just don't have the desire to run right now, I would much rather run fast than long right now. Up until this nasty heat wave hit I had no problem reaching deep down into the 6 minute range, although lately I have to admit that I am struggling. Between work and family and an overall lack of sleep (try 3-5 hours a night) my legs have been rebelling a bit and making me work for even just 7 minute miles.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, with projects coming to completion, the kids heading off to school and the heat of the summer hopefully abating just a bit. And while the tunnel is still pretty long, and pretty dark, there is one light way down at the end of it. Standing there waiting for me, patiently hopefully, is Jeni. The frenetic pace of the summer has surely taken its toll on us as a couple, almost like years past when we would literaly pass each other at 2am. While we may not be bickering or arguing, we also aren't talking very much. Lately I think we may text more than talk, thank goodness for unlimited text plans. I look forward to reconnecting with her, without looking at the clock and counting back the minutes til we have to pick the kids up from camp.

Oh wait, then the fall television season begins. And we all now what that means. I can't win.

How Will You Be Paying For That Today?

2010-07-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

If you were told you were never going to win the game you loved most would you still play? If you thought that you had almost no chance to succeed would you still try?
When the odds are stacked against you, and failure is the most likely outcome, do you rise to the challenge or raise the white flag?

In order to overcome obstacles, either in life or sport it perhaps only takes one thing; discipline. In order to be a better writer, you write, a lot. If you want to get faster you train. Need to lose a few pounds, then you lead a disciplined lifestyle of diet and exercise. When I wanted to learn about discipline I looked to an unlikely source that perhaps was the most obvious all along, Mike Tyson. Admired by most and hated by even more, Mike Tyson at his pinnacle was the epitome of discipline. When asked about discipline Mike says this "
Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but nonetheless doing it like you love it."
The interviwer then asked how do you do that? to which Mike replied: "discipline."

To me truer words have never been spoken. Most of us are goal driven, or even more specifically result driven. But how do you achieve those results? Discipline. Discipline of the mind, discipline of the body and discipline of lifestyle. As for me I like to set goals, usually quite lofty goals, but ones that are still achievable. I have found that if you set the goal to high, that you almost assume failure before you have even begun. Goals must also be tangible, reachable and their terms definite. Don't just say I want to lose weight, say I want to weigh xxx, by such and such a date. Don't just say I want be rich, say I want to have x amount of dollars in the bank by the time I turn 40.

But before a goal or result can ever be realized a certain transaction must take place. A certain 'this for that' type of transaction by which in order to attain result x, you must first give up, sacrifice, put on hold or surrender y . Why? because nothing in life comes easy. If you want to be a better runner, you must train, hours on end, week after week. So how do you pay for that training? You use your free time, time that could be spent doing myriad other things, that frankly might be more enjoyable in the short term, but the training will be more rewarding long term. And what is the currency you pay with? Discipline. The same principles apply to business as well. Whether you work for someone or are self employed, the harder you work, the greater the goals achieved. But again there is a price to pay and the universal currency is discipline.

Discipline to me is not all self flagelation though. Discipline is a balancing act. The ability to balance family life, with work and play while still achieving what you want is perhaps the trickiest of all. I wish I could set a training schedule that never got interrupted. But try telling a 4 year old and a 6 year old that Daddy has to go out for another run, or another ride. Watch their faces turn from excited to disappointed at the realization that yet again they lose while I win. So lately the balancing act has gotten a bit trickier. With the "Summer of Do" in full effect my mantra lately has been quality over quantity. Rather than the 7 or 8 miler I had hoped for, I find myself going out for a 4 miler. A hard and fast 4 miler,but a 4 none the less. Or lately, I find myself at work in the shop til 3 in the morning making up time so that I can get a project out somewhat close to the delivery date.

Without discipline I would probably just chuck it all in favor of just hanging with the family, or sleeping in or being contented with the status quo. That is just not my style. If I know I am capable, then I will push myslef. If I have an inkling that something is achievable through hard work and sacrifice, then I push all doubts out of my head and I go for it. Better yet, tell me I can't do something. I may struggle, and I may initially fail, but I will try. I will pay the price that needs to be paid in hard work, in sacrifice, in sweat and sometimes even tears, but I will try my hardest. The outcome may not always be pretty, but the goal will be met.

Perseverance

2010-04-21T17:33:00.001-07:00

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. -Sir Winston Churchill

I'd like to think I possess a great deal of perseverance, whether or not I actually do may be debatable, but in my mind I'd like to think so. Whether it be at work, or at home or while riding or running, I tend to stick it out til the end in order to achieve whatever it is I am after. I have also realized through life that success can be measured by how much effort you put in. When I was 25 I started a business named Marketfresh Produce Co., and I worked, and worked, and worked. I loved every minute of it. I was proud. I was successful. In just a few years, I was selling over a million dollars worth of produce a year to some of the best restaurants in Chicago.

I woke up at midnight 6 days a week to start my day, by 2am on was on "The Street" as we called it, or the produce market to others. I hustled both literally and figuratively from one end to the other, several times for 3-4 hours every morning, loving every minute of it. From the smells of the fresh produce being unloaded from around the world, to the stench of diesel fumes that could leave your snot black with soot, I breathed it all in. The language was rough from everyone and the characters ran the gamut from the stereotypical to the downright insane, and somehow I felt right at home. Every conversation was an education in how to use the word fuck most effectively, and I was a pro. In explaining the Street to the uninitiated, I would often reference the Old West, it could be just that wild. While there were no gunfights, there were plenty of guns. The Street after all was situated in the middle of the projects, and its bright lights drew characters like a lamp draws flies. Hookers, hustlers, lumpers the market had it all, including cash. Lots of it.

The street ran on cash. And everyone carried it, myself included. One pocket carried a wad of cash almost as big as your fist, the other carried a knife because at 2am, in the middle of the projects you just never knew. Cash talked, because you could only yell so loud. It got you the freshest produce and it got you the fastest service. Because the faster you could get off the Street , the faster you cold make more money. In that business time was money. If I could get to a restaurant before some other asshole could, I was golden. In a business where the attitude was "what have you done for me lately?", being on time was everything. If I could out hustle all the other schmucks, with a better product, at a better price then I was unstoppable.

Life was good, work was hard, but never did I tire of the day to day hustle. My walk was fast as I moved down the Street , my talk was even faster. They called me The Kid because I was so young, I loved it, every minute of it. The old timers respected me, they saw the fire I had in my eyes. They all watched me grow and succeed, not only in business but as a person. I knew my shit, I had it together at 25 when most other 25 year olds were still acting like kids. I used that to my advantage, my eagerness to grow and learn attracted attention. In a few years I had several offers to merge. Offers from major players in the produce game, offers that had not been extended to anyone else. People saw in me what I knew about myself, if you work hard enough good things come to you.

Hard work doesn't scare me, never has. The harder the job, the bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward. Bring it on, all of it. I rarely ask for help, to me that is a sign of weakness, probably stupidly so, but that is how I work best. I have the mindset that nothing is impossible if you only try hard enough. While I don't always succeed, I do always try. Who wants to fail? Not me. But you never know what is going to happen if you don't at least try. I put everything I have into everything I do. I push harder when I would rather just quit. Knowing that the extra effort will pay dividends, maybe not immediately, but eventually. I may not be the smartest guy out there, and I am sure there is some other Kid
out hustling even my hustle, but with a continuous drive forward I can't be stopped. I do what I do for me, for my family, for my friends. I work hard for the things I want, for what I feel I deserve. Maybe someday I can inspire someone to dig their heels in, try something they wouldn't have normally tried, push harder, or just dream bigger dreams.

New Offering

2010-04-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

My brother Eric and I are finally ready to release for public consumption the ikyaudio 1a Mahogany Loud Speaker. After performing months of research and several iterations, our hard work has paid off. We now offer at an introductory price, the first version in the soon to be popular line of handcrafted, test proven designs of ikyaudio. After a few months in the marketplace we plan on raising the price to be more in line with the competition, although we feel that we have very few competitors as far as quality, craftsmanship and design.

As always, you can visit Beverly Wood Works for more info.

Coming In To Focus

2010-04-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

With the weather finally breaking, and some adjustments made to my schedule as far as work/sleep are concerned I feel like I am starting to hit a stride. I still haven't been on a bike yet this year, that will have to wait until after May 1st. Hopefully my plan to stay off the bike will be as beneficial in the late season as I hope it will be. I guess only time will tell.

The other parts of my life seem to falling in to place as well. I have quite a few projects lined up over at Beverly Wood Works as well as a new venture with my brother Eric, tentatively named Iky Audio Works, look for some exciting products to come soon. We hope to turn his passion for all things audio and my passion for all things wood into a collaboration that can't be beat. With his depth of knowledge for componentry we intend to develop some incredible sounding and good looking speaker systems for both home and office.

I am also in the research stage for a line of reproduction Arts & Crafts furniture pieces with a focus on Prairie Style furniture. The first project out of the gate will be a Stickley Prairie Chair reproduction of the venerable No. 416 which first appeared in 1912. With recent auctions fetching as much as $18,000 for originals, and repro's easily in the $3,000's I feel that I can bring a great product to market that is truly affordable. I also came across the opportunity of a lifetime over at the FLWPT website, that I would love to participate in. If you love me, send me to summer camp, Any donations over $100 will receive a special gift!

On the homefront Jeni has been working nearly every week which always adds a bit of stress to our everyday life. Last week a quick overnight shoot turned into four days, two states, six airplanes and three shoots. But in the end when the checks finally show up 6 weeks later, we always seem to forget how crazy it actually was. Not to mention that in a few short weeks the show will break for hiatus and all work will dry up until the fall, so I guess we will take what we can get.

So what the heck does all of this mean? I dunno. Life is good. We couldn't be better actually. Lets only hope that good times can continue as they have been.

Anatomically Correct

2010-04-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

And by that I was referring to his hair, sickos.

Sugar High

2010-04-04T05:49:00.001-07:00

By 7:15 all of the easter eggs that the Easter Bunny had hidden were discovered, the baskets had been found and the kids blood sugar level had already climbed by 100 points. Can I go back to bed now?

Lions and Tigers and Bears...

2010-04-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

With today being the last day of Abbie's spring back and Ethan's first, and with nearly perfect weather it was decided that the three of us would head out to the Little Red Schoolhouse in Palos Hills for our first hike of the season. But before we went I got in touch with Tom and Gina who brought Christopher out to join in on the fun. The six of us met up in the parking lot and after unloading ourselves from the cars headed up to what would be the Kenney's first actual visit to the schoolhouse. Well, it wasn't meant to be I suppose as the one day a week that the nature center is closed is on Friday. Maybe next time Christopher! At least the trails were open, and dry to boot.

The group of us headed out on one of the nearby trails for what ended up being a nearly 2 hour hike. The kids brought along their binoculars with the hope that for once they would actually get to spot some wildlife other than chipmunks and squirrels. And almost immediately they were treated to two amphibians sunning themselves on the same log, a turtle and a frog. Unfortunately, that would be the extent of wildlife observation as the hoots and hollers generated by 3 and 4 year old boys and a 6 year old girl surely scared off any animals within a few mile radius. Now matter how many times in the past I have tried to instill a bit of noise restraint, I can never seem to win.

Thankfully the trail had looped back and brought us to our starting point just as the kids were losing their fight to not only focus, but to continue the hike as well. The hike that had started out at a nearly full out sprint between the two boys of course ended up with me playing the role of sherpa as I traded off carrying kids that were knackered from all the fresh air exposure. I know the kids always enjoy themselves out in the woods, and it definitely brings a sense of calm over me. And for me as soon as I cross over La Grange Rd. I can just smell the dirt and clay and bogs. Since I have been going to Palos at least once a week for the past 16 years, the sights and especially the smells have been permanently impressed in my senses. I am sure that once I am out of the car and out on the trails, either on foot or bike, my blood pressure drops and my mood always brightens.

Palos has not only been a place of exercise and enjoyment for me, but has also become a sort of refuge as well. I am never more calm than when I am there. I have figured out more problems, solved more conundrums, discovered myself or just plain "got it" while at Palos then perhaps anywhere else. My mind can focus while at the same time completely wandering from subject to subject. A sense of clarity often washes over me while I am there that I just can't seem to replicate anywhere else, nor do I wish to. If I had to put a price tag on the "therapy" that I receive while there it would be in the millions.

And while I have received all of these gifts from my little refuge in the woods I have to admit that I have been a bit stingy with them. While I do take the kids out there a few times a year, I often reserve my visits for just myself. However this year I plan on sharing, I want others to experience what I experience when I am there, the calm, the clarity, the sense of purpose. And so this year I will begin to expose the most important person in my life, to perhaps the most important place in my life. I plan on taking Jeni riding with me regularly, so that she too can understand what happens when you are out there.

I don't know if Palos has the same effect on others as it does on me, but I look forward to our future adventures together. If in fact it does affect her the way it affects me and I get to see first hand as the joy washes over her face, then life will be even better. Because now I will be able to share the experience with someone rather than being selfish and keeping it all to myself.

Sprung

2010-04-01T12:23:00.001-07:00

And She's Off

2010-03-31T22:41:00.001-07:00

Since Jeni had the last 4 out of 5 shoots cancelled recently, she kept her bags packed for the inevitable phone call. It finally came this afternoon for a 7:30 pm flight to sunny Florida. The trip was suppose to be a quick in and out until about 15 minutes before the cab ws supposed to arrive. Turns out from Florida she then hops another plane north to New York, meaning her easy 30 hour trip now looks more like 5 days. Ugh. Hopefully she can make it back in time for Easter!

Words To Live By

2010-03-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

Watch your thoughts, they become your words
Watch your words, they become your feelings
Watch your feelings, they become your actions
Watch your actions, they become your habits
Watch your habits, they become your lifestyle
Watch your lifestyle, it controls your destiny!

Uncle Fun

2010-03-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

Get My Head In The Game

2010-03-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

I have been gone for a while, too long, way too long. I really enjoyed spending time on this blog last year then things got crazy and life got in the way. I'd like to think that I am back now, and as motivated as ever, I guess only time will tell.

Work is...different now to say the least. Because of the economy we laid off several people including front office staff. Now keep in mind that I was a full-time salesman, that is until a few weeks ago. Now I am a full time office worker/phone girl/whipping boy. My schedule is now 5pm-2am. Yep 2am. I can't remember how long I have been at it now, probably about 5-6 weeks, as a matter of fact I can't remember much of anything these days. On average I am losing about 20-25 hours of sleep per week. On a good night I fall asleep sometime after 3am only to have the kids wake me up anywhere from 6:15-7:00 am depending on their mood. Suffice it to say I can be a bit cranky at times, lost at others, and most of the time just down right exhausted.

There is an upside, although I have to figure out how to fully utilize it. And by that I should say that if I was actually riding, my base would be incredible right now. The truth is that I haven't even been on a bike since Indian Lakes last year. I was so demoralized after injuring myself at Jackson Park that I just lost focus that I have yet to regain. Add in the fact that I quit BBVP after way too much team B.S. and there you have it. One of these days I may even finish rebuilding the Kelly. The only left to do is re-cable the front derailleur and wrap the bars. I think the bike has been in this state since some time in late January, or maybe it was February. I don't know. I need a swift kick in the pants to find that love again for the bike.
At least I have been running. Or at least I was. With the shift in work schedule I am faced with the dilemma of trying to catch a nap before work so that I can function, or getting in a solid workout. Lately the nap has been winning, and just when I was down to sub 7 minute miles again. Hopefully I can regain my form quickly in the next 5 weeks for a half marathon. My plan was to parlay the early running fitness into early summer fitness where I would spend as much time off-raod as possible. I suppose there is still time to recoup some of that fitness before it is too late. However, I just feel like I am so far behind everyone else. Granted this year I am not racing road at all, and only focusing on 'cross, but I just feel like I am so far removed from where I have been in previous years. I guess the upside may be that when everyone else is starting to get burned out, I will still be fresh. I guess only time will tell.

The new schedule has also allowed me evn more time with Jeni. Since I am at work most nights during the week, our dates have turned in matine movies for $6 with all of the senior citizens. The other upside is that I am no longer working on Saturdays as I have been for the last 15 years. Just this by itself is reason to rejoice, especially when Jeni is out of town, by doing so we can easily save $100 on babysitters.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't all complaining and I hope it hasn't come off this way. But it truly is a completely different way to live my life. I look frorward to realy capitalizing on the newfound opportunities, that is if I can stay awake long enough to enjoy them.

I'm Back

2010-03-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

I will be udpating the blog more regularly I promise, just in case there really is somone outhere somewhere who may actually read this. I have been spending most of my time lately in the shop working on this.

Check back soon for more info regarding stupid things like life, kids, cycling and running.

A Boy And A Girl

2009-04-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

It all started rather suddenly a while ago, actually a long time ago. Things have changed along the way, some more obvious than others, yet many things have stayed the same. Back before kids and bills and mortgages, before stress and family and work, a boy met a girl.

The boy and girl met, talked and something in them let them know that this was good, that they were good, good for each other. This was a long time ago. The boy fell in love with the girl as she fell in love with him too. They have never really spent any time apart from one another in all of this time, rather choosing to spend as much time together as possible. Times were good, days were carefree and hours spent with one another were the best hours spent. And still a boy loved a girl.

As the days slid past, and the months turned to years, the girl helped the boy start his dream, a business, and the dream was fulfilled. The company grew, and the love the boy had for the girl grew as well. Soon plans were made to marry the girl and start a family so they could share their love. A baby was born, and still a boy loved a girl.

The baby grew, and soon the boy and girl wanted another baby to love as much as the first one. And so a house was sold and a new one bought, in a neighborhood not their own. The boy and girl and baby moved and soon welcomed a new baby. And still a boy loved a girl.

The babies are no longer babies, and times are not always so good, yet the small family does its best to love one another and help each other out when they need it most. Kind words, a helping hand, or just a gesture of thanks, small things go a long way in the family. And still a boy loved a girl.

Along the way the boy and girl have grown into new people, different people. These new people are not that different from the people they used to be, just perhaps a bit smarter. More aware of the needs and wants and desires of those that matter the most. And still a boy loved a girl.

The family will continue to grow and change, but one thing will never, a boy will still love a girl.

Leading By Example

2009-04-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Scene: In the car after picking Abbie up from school

Abbie: Daddy, did you know Earth day is tomorrow

Me: Really? (acting surprised) What should we do to celebrate?

Abbie: Hmmmm... how about we take a walk around the neighborhood and pick up all the garbage we see.

Me: That sounds like a great idea! (in a bit of shock at how mature she has become)

Abbie: I think we should get me some gloves so my hands don't get dirty.

Me: When should we do it?

Abbie: Tomorrow

How could I say no to that? My little girl sometimes blows me away with what she says and how she thinks. Her compassion for others is humbling at times and her awareness of the Earth and the environment is something to behold. She wants this to be something that we do every week, and I would be thrilled to do it. I think the future will hold lots of community based projects as well as volunteer days for her, as well as for our family. I just didn't think that my five year old would be the one leading by example.

So True

2009-04-19T19:15:00.001-07:00

Creating

2009-04-04T17:23:00.000-07:00

There is a strong desire in me to create things, to take one object and transform it into something completely different, to change its shape, or its function into something new and hopefully beautiful. That is why I choose woodworking as a creative outlet. The wood that I work with is beautiful in its own right, and hopefully when I am done the it will be even more spectacular. I usually have a few projects going at the same time, and this time is no different. I am currently working on a cabinet for the shop to hold all of his unusual cycling curios gathered over the years for all to see rather than have them tucked away in the back. I am also in the late stages of commission piece for a client. The client lives in a California Style Bungalow on the west side of the city and I am fabricating a radiator cover for her kitchen using hard maple that will match her cabinets down to the last detail. Now how is that for custom?

Woodworking is something that was never taught to me, but rather something that I gravitated towards on my own. True, I come from a lineage of talented craftsmen that have gone before me, and have also put their hands to work for them. And I, like them strive for a level of craftsmanship that is daunting at times. As a young child I was taught the basics of proper tool use, and I have never looked back since. Much to my parents chagrin, I would wake early, make my way down to the basement, and create something, anything, just to further test my skills. I learned the value of a quality tool and how to maintain it from my father who knows perhaps more than anyone that with a vision of what you want to create, the desire to create it, and the time to do so, will always yield a quality result. A result that you can be happy with, and the confidence to tackle something even larger or perhaps more complex the next time.

I look forward to the times when I can go into my shop without any preconceived notion of what I am hoping to accomplish, and exit with something that has my heart and soul buried within it. I put everything I have into the work that I do, and I believe it shows when the piece is delivered. From the hand tooling, to the painstaking attention to detail, to the hand applied finishes, I aim to create a masterpiece each and everytime, and I hopefully succeed.

Bzzzy At Work

2009-03-22T11:12:00.001-07:00

What's Next?

2009-03-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

First the economy implodes, then the AIG fiasco, now this!

Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets

1212 W. Lake St.

2009-03-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

I drive past these doors everyday, sometimes several times a day and I have to look at them everytime, no matter what. To me these doors speak of an era that is long passed, of a time when men were honorable and they worked with their hands and made things that lasted, things that could not be destroyed by time, but perservered and stood against time so that they outlived the men that created them.

It's Official!

2009-03-04T16:14:00.000-08:00

There is no denying it, Spring is now upon us. I did some yardwork today mostly clearing away leaves from the fall and uncovered these beauties. In just a few short weeks our landscaping will be in bloom with the fresh scent of lilacs wafting on the breeze and the forsythia leading the way with their colorful display of flowers.

Lost? Yes Please

2009-02-26T19:49:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week I made my way out to woods for a bit of peace and quiet, just to get away for an hour and reconnect with nature for a bit. If you happen to be looking for the most remote spot in Cook County then look no further than Cap Sauers Holdings, a portion of the Palos-Sag Valley District of the CFD. Within the 1,670 acre preserve you can find yourself 3/4 of a mile away from the closest road, thus making it the most remote and perhaps the quitest spot around. Last year I made a few trips out to the woods with the kids, but because of the high gas prices we didn't make it as often as I would have liked. This year things will be completely different, assuming gas stays were it is.

Not only will we be taking our own hikes, but I also hope to make a few of the CAOC events as well. My goal is to have the kids be completly comfortable being outdoors, away from the distractions of everyday life. I want to show them the beauty that nature posesses from the wildflowers to all of the creatures, and even just the shape of the land itself. I want them to learn about the animals that inhabit the forests, and I want to teach them to respect and treasure the gifts that the preserves offer us. If I could spend everyday hiking in the woods and learning something new about them I probably would, and this year I hope to take my children along with me as often as possible to enjoy what I find to be so beautiful, peaceful and exciting all at the same time.

Cereal Box Philosophy

2009-02-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean...

I try to live a life without too much bullshit, too much theatrics, too many distractions. It doesn't always work out that way though. Of course I'd like to think that I am right most of the time, all though I am sure I usually fall short, I can typically come up with a good point or two. I know a lot of things, most of them trivial that matter little to few and nothing to most, nonetheless they are things I know and hold true. We all fall into this sometimes, some of us just more than others. What is it about our id that compels one to always have to be in the right?

The id is focused on selfishness and instant self gratification, it is impulse driven with little sense of responsibility. It is the job of the ego then to separate what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us. Sometimes it seems our id, our natural instincts that have been with us since birth, can overrule our ego, these urges and impulses, passions and emotions can take hold of our better judgement and cloud our thought processes. The ego then must be developed enough to understand the difference between right and wrong, between what is acceptable and what is not. The ego is tasked with using its faculties to please the id's drive in a realistic way, that will benefit the id long term. The ego of some is inferior to their id and tends to look the other way or pass over the finer details of life in order to minimize conflicts while pretending to have a regard for their reality. It is when the instincts of the id win out over the reality based ego that problems arise.

As a society we are compelled by social norms, we follow rules of nature and societal behaviors in order to peacefully interact with those around us. The ego acts to keep the id in check, at least most of the time. Some of us are better at controlling these urges, be they emotional, physical or otherwise, some of us need some work. The ego works in the conscience, while the id is the underlying current of our person. The id is what we are made of, the ego is the gateway to how we really tick. If you let the gate swing open too far be prepared as to what may lie on the other side of it.

Left Brain vs. Right Brain

2009-02-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Kids have it made. Lets face it, they can get away with pretty much anything they want and not have to be held accountable for it. They can also do things that adults would have a hard time justifying, or might be embarrassed to do for fear of ridicule, myself included. There is one part of my life that I wish I was better at, or at least had more opportunity to partake in, namely art, or at least some way to express my artistic desires. There are times when I am jealous of my kids ability to just draw for the sake of drawing, and to create something that to them is both beautiful and meaningful, while I on the other hand would be embarrassed to put pencil to paper in the company of others, let alone have someone actually view what I had done. I often remark that I even have a hard time drawing stick people, and often times there is proof to back that up, yet deep down I yearn to be able to draw an idyllic scene, or make a quick sketch of a person. Yet time and again, I second guess myself and pass off the idea as nonsense for fear of disappointing myself and even more so for fear of inciting ridicule from others. I often lament that my brother Eric is the talented one, that he received all of the artistic ability within the family. I pity myself and wallow in self doubt about any artistic or creative ability that I may posses, only to be reminded that I am a gifted woodworker. I often overlook that creative outlet, and instead have turned it more into a job since I created Beverly Wood Works, which may have inadvertently taken any enjoyment I once received from it away.

Often times I find myself thinking about design and drawing, only to quickly push the thought away as useless. Lately I have been thinking a great deal about designing t-shirts, not for sale, but as a way to wear and display something that came from my minds eye. Years ago a friend and I were planning on starting a clothing company, things never really panned out but that probably was more due to the fact that we were young. Had things been a bit different back then who knows what might have happened. Had we really set our minds to it, perhaps we could have created something unique. As it turns out, apparently I do have a head for business, too bad Chris blew the small business grant!

So what exactly does all of this mean? I'm not exactly sure. I know I definitely enjoy expressing myself here in writing, and that I am on a tear as far as reading goes in the hopes of becoming a better writer. I often think about taking up creative writing, but always back down when it comes time to actually sit down and write. There it goes again, my fear of ridicule pops up and rather than do something that I would enjoy immensely, I squelch it before I even have a chance to explore it further. Apparently I have some work to do on my self worth issues before I can move forward on any of these ideas. Or perhaps I trudge along and work on my creative side and see what comes of it. That would probably be the easier of the two, and that way I don't have to look too deep inside to figure out what is going on inside of my head.

I am think I am ready to start using more of the right side of my brain, to try an become a little less analytical, to stop looking for patterns in everything, and start embracing the creative side to my personality. Rather than make mechanical drawings of which I have the talent to do, make a freehand sketch instead. Or take the time and make a pencil drawing of something that I am thinking about rather than push the idea out of my head. Who knows maybe I can uncover the creative person inside of me afterall. The next time the kids sit down with markers and crayons and paper, I will join them and rediscover what it feels like to be creative for the sake of having fun. I will push aside any preconceived notions I have of myself and let flow what is inside of me, and not let my left brain dictate what I should be putting on the paper. It may turn out that my kids are my two greatest instructors, their uninhibited ways of thinking and seemingly unending creative thoughts may be the key to opening the lock that I have put on my own creative thoughts. I look forward to working on this new of way of expressing myself and am curious to see what comes of it. If nothing else, it will at least afford me some great moments with the two people that inspire me the most, my two kids.

Letting Loose

2009-02-05T20:15:00.000-08:00

Dreamin'

2009-02-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

So True

2009-02-02T21:50:00.000-08:00

My Two Hands

2009-02-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

I just finished this beautiful library stool as a birthday present for my Dad. The stool is constructed out of 4/4 Mahogany and finished using a four step process of staining. The design is a morphing of two styles, the overall look takes its cues from the Shaker Style, while the exposed through tenons are borrowed from the Greene & Greene Bungalow Style of the early 20th century. I think the outcome is a simple uncomplicated piece that speaks for itself.

The finishing process takes about a 4-5 days to complete due to the complexity of the steps involved. The first step is to apply a Red Mahogany oil based stain by flooding the surface and wiping away the excess. After drying for 24 hours a coat of amber shellac is applied over the stain to seal the base coat. Following sanding a Dark Walnut Gel Stain is applied then removed both filling the pores of the open grained Mahogany as well as imparting a subtle hue on top of the shellac. Finally after another 24 hours of drying the poly is applied using a hand rubbed technique, several coats are applied to offer maximum protection. The result is a finish that is not only strong, but beautiful as well. The depth of the finish gives the piece an heirloom quality rather than something newly constructed.

Overall dimensions are 20 1/2" high, 20" wide.

Stupid Fun

2009-01-31T16:42:00.001-08:00

There is nothing like some good old fashioned fun. I can't even tell you how many times a day I find myself tickling the kids, when was the last time you tickled someone? The pure joy that comes from just being stupid sometimes can be refreshing. Acting like a kid for no other reason other than to have fun is something that should be required of adults every so often. We all get so caught up in being parents, and spouses, and employees that we often forget what it is like to have fun. I often times catch myself with a frown on my face, a frown set so firmly and deeply that it hurts to release it. At times like those I think of something stupid, or funny, most often something that happened just that morning before I left for work, and before I know it the frown is gone, and often times I am laughing out loud, usually at myself.

Make sure you enjoy your life, stop and do something for yourself for a change. Go jump in a pile of snow, lick an icicle, make a snow angel, do something, anything to make yourself smile. Do what a kid would do, which often is just about anything fun for the sake of having fun. Forget about social norms for a few minutes, forget that you have a mortgage to pay, stop for a minute and dance around the house, extra points if you do it in just your underwear! We all used to be kids at one point, and somewhere along the path of growing up we forgot how to have spontaneous fun. Make it your mission to find that inner child again, bring them out for a few minutes everyday, dance with them, sing with them, play with them, heck go buy some crayons and color with them. Whatever you do, just don't forget that the inner child within all of us wants to come out and play, so you might as well let them.

A Masterpiece of Mucus

2009-01-28T10:52:00.000-08:00

God bless 2 year olds and their constantly running noses. And don't think for a second that he had any intention of stopping what he was doing in order to take care of the... ahem...little problem that he had. If you look closely it almost appears that he has a chin strap for it reaching back to his left ear. Or on second thought don't look too closely. Only a parent, or at least a male parent can truly appreciate a masterpiece of mucus such as this. You may now proceed with your day.

Words To Live By

2009-01-26T12:14:00.000-08:00

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. -Sir Winston Churchill

What's Your Story?

2009-01-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

It started with a simple request. "Mommy, tell me a story about when you were a kid". And in that one moment Jeni had to dig deep into her childhood to find a story with enough action, drama, intrigue and everything else that a five year old needs to stay in the moment and hear you out. Jeni brought up some random happenings from her days at Kennedy Park during the summer months of her youth, but struggled to truly tell a story with her memories. When she brought what had happened while putting Abbie to bed, I too was at a loss as to what sort of story I would be able to tell.

Memories can come back with little cohesion between them, but often times they are little more than just scenes from your youth. What does it take to turn random thoughts and experiences into a true story? If someone came up to you and asked you to tell them a story, what would you come up with? Perhaps your first trip to a baseball game, or that time you went camping and told ghost stories, maybe even your first day at a new school. What thoughts and emotions would you hope to be able to convey? Were you nervous that first day of school, maybe you sat front row at the baseball game and were awed by seeing your heroes up close and in the flesh. Do you have what it takes to draw in those around you with an amazing tale of your daring expeditions as an eight year old?

I for one am a lousy story teller. I can usually manage to start off well enough, building tension and painting a pretty good picture of the scene to my listeners, only to get to the climax to blow it, I let my listener down by second guessing the events as I remember them, or most often leaving out a crucial piece of information, having to back pedal to fill in the newly formed gaps. I guess I need to polish my delivery before I too am confronted by a certain five year old at bedtime wanting to hear a story that is better crafted than those found in her bedtime books. When it comes time for me to deliver, will I have the goods necessary to hold her captivated, or will I fail miserably. Will the story I tell her have to have a deeper meaning behind it, perhaps a moral at the end of it all not unlike one of Aesop's. What sort of things would I tell her about myself unwittingly through a story about my youthful shenanigans. All I know is that whatever I tell her, chances are it will be repeated, verbatim, to those who should probably not hear it.

You may think that I am making more out of this than I should, and if you are then you probably don't have kids. To say that your kids are your greatest audience, while at the same time being your biggest critic would be the understatement of the year. You at that moment have the power to mold them with your words, mold them into something you would like them to be, or turn them away from something which you don't. You have the ability to turn yourself into a superhero before their eyes, or dash their hopes with a misspoken tale of cowardice. As a parent, I hope that I have the ability to captivate my children with even the most mundane of events simply because I am their father. I want to be the one that they brag about during recess to all of their friends because of the one time that I...

So what's your story? And be sure to make it a good one.

Big Pimpin'

2009-01-23T06:20:00.000-08:00

Jay-Z would be so proud!

A 2 Year Old's Perspective

2009-01-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

Since I have worked overnight the last two days I was able to stay home and catch most of the inauguration on television with Jeni and Ethan. Jeni was keeping herself busy with a project while watching and Ethan and I were playing with his choo choo as usual. At one point during the President's speech, Ethan pokes his head around the corner, looks at the television, looks at me, and very matter of factly in the perfectly clear voice of a two year old says "that's Barack Obama daddy". It is amazing and at times scary what kids are able to absorb from their environment without any prompting on our part. As the inauguartion progressed and the President-elect became the President, Ethan again became interested in what was happening on the screen. At this point everyone in the crowd is cheering and waving their American flags, and without missing a beat, Ethan joins in the celebration, this time jumping and cheering loudly. His timing couldn't have been more perfect, and how I wish I had a video camera handy to capture the moment. Maybe this two year old is onto something that we should be aware of. Maybe he realizes that yes we are in fact already better off than we were just a few weeks ago. Maybe this country can regain its prominence in the world theater, and once again be the shining beacon of hope, rather than the overpowering force that it has become of late.

The man that took office today has a lot of work to do to right the wrongs of those that went before him. Hopefully one day soon we will all be able to realize that things are good again, and that we are raising our children in the greatest country on the planet. It will take months, and years, maybe decades to undo what has been done, perhaps we won't see it in our lifetime. But surely our children will reap the benefit of the good that will be begun today and tomorrow and everyday henceforth. Isn't that what we truly want? A safe place for our families to grow, a place in which honor and hardwork are the foundations of a life well lived. We teach our children that those that do the right thing are rewarded, those that are leaders lead by example and not by might of force. It seems that once again our country will lead by example rather than flexing its muscle. Our country can again hold its collective head high in the court of public opinion because we will once again be able to show the world that the virtues that once made us great, can make us great again.

President Obama said in his speech today:

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task."

As an American I accept these duties. As a husband I accept these duties. But as a father it is with the greatest responsibility that I accept these duties. I will stand fast and heed the call of my country and of my family to be a virtuous man, and reach out to others who have heeded the call as well. Together we can come together and make something great, not only for ourselves, but mostly for those that come after us.

Eerie

2009-01-19T18:26:00.000-08:00

This article originally appeared in the Onion on January 17th, 2001 just as Bush was about to take office for the first time. It is truly eerie how most of the outlandish statements actually came true, take this for example: On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

Read it and weep, no really weep and realize what a mess this man has gotten us into. What was intended to be a complete joke is about 95% fact 8 years later.

New Friend

2009-01-15T17:27:00.000-08:00

Made a new friend this week. 'Nuff said. Figure it out.

853 Pages Into The New Year

2009-01-13T13:40:00.000-08:00

It appears that I am well on my way to reading more this year than I did last year, so far 853 pages completed and today is just the 13th. I just started my 4th book which I am re-reading for the first time since college. The Red Badge of Courage which some consider one of the most influential works in American literature, is next on my list and since it involves military history I am sure I will not be disappointed. Lately I have found in myself an extremely strong desire to not only read, but to write as well, I just wish I had the time to do both. In fact last night I found myself not only reading at work during lulls, but also reading until nearly 3:00 a.m. until finally common sense won out and I closed the book. I never pictured myself as someone who couldn't put down a book, but frequently as of late I find myself trying to squeeze in just a few more pages whenever I can.

My goal is to finish a book a week, and thus far I am on track. I have no doubt that somewhere along the way life will interrupt this little attempt of mine to better myself, but in the end I will have made great progress. Any suggestions as to what I should make sure is on my list would be greatly appreciated.

Quality Time

2009-01-11T18:03:00.000-08:00

The plan today was to take the entire family down to the Adler Planetarium with the City Pass that we checked out of the library. However, both Abbie and Jeni were feeling kinda lousy at about 10 am this morning, so that left Ethan and I no choice but to venture out on our own, or face the prospects of hanging with two sick women, take a guess at which one we picked. Rather than go all the way up to the Planetarium, I decided that we would re-visit the Museum of Science and Industry since the entire month of January is free admission. Include the fact that the MSI has trains and airplanes and it was an absolute no brainer.

We arrived early and hung out in the huge hall of the main entrance waiting for the doors to open, Ethan quietly played with his two toy trains for nearly 25 minutes, a sign that today would in fact be a good day for both of us. Once the doors opened we made a bee line straight for the model railroad layout where we spent about 30 minutes following the various trains along their route. If it were up to Ethan I am sure that we could have spent several more hours just watching the trains make their rounds. At times he was shivering with excitement as the trains exited the tunnel and approached our vantage point. We stayed in the transportation corridor long enough to examine all of the airplanes hanging from the ceiling before heading over to the Coal Mine.

After only waiting only a few minutes we were all ushered into the elevator for the 600' drop into the mine, Ethan was already in heaven, after all he does love elevators. Once down to the bottom and after few introductory remarks we boarded a train and took a ride into the murky black depths of the tunnel, whereupon we exited into a small chamber full of loud, dangerous machines that could rip your arms off, Ethan was thrilled! Not once during the entire tour did he show any fear or second thoughts, considering the darkness of the tunnels, and the noise form the machinery. If anything, he enjoyed the uncertainty of not knowing what was around the next corner, and as a matter of fact he yelled "Fire in the hole" the loudest, much to every one's amusement. The tour ended as quickly as it began, and we found ourselves in the cafeteria eating a healthy lunch of hot dogs and Cheetos before heading back into the museum to pick up where we had left off.

After a quick trip through the petroleum exhibits, we ended up at the train layout again and spent another 30-45 minutes chasing around the fright trains from Chicago, across the plains and finishing our trip in Seattle. Along the way we raised a few bridges, blew the ships horn, and even felled a pine tree in the mountains. As nap time was approaching we started to make our way to the car only to discover the steam engine displays as well as all of the geared transmission mechanisms, and of course a visit to the museum wouldn't be complete without turning every single handle and pushing every button to make the engines and transmissions do their thing. Our appetite for knowledge of these simple machines kept us at it for another thirty minutes before we finally called it a day and headed home.

As I reflect upon the wonderful day I had with Ethan I am struck at how well he acted. Not once did he misbehave or act inappropriately like he did the first time we visited the MSI last week. In fact, we took our time at each exhibit and I let him explore until he was ready to move to the next display. He seemed to take in everything around him and never was distracted or bored. I have a feeling the big difference between the last visit and today's was the absence of his sister Abbie, who can tend to be a show stealer and thus he has has to compete for attention from Jeni and I, whether in a positive way or not. The time we spent together today was perfect, well except for his runny nose that is, and I am sure he looks forward to repeating it as much as I do.

A Perfect Day

2009-01-07T16:31:00.000-08:00

As of 4:55 pm today, Wednesday, my day off everything has been nearly perfect. Perfect in the sense that nothing bad has happened, the kids were almost perfect little angels (almost is a relative term), and Jeni and I were able to spend a relaxing day together. As of this writing I still haven't taken a shower, which is a bit gross, but is more a testament to the fact that I did not have to leave the house, save for plowing the snow this morning.

Something else that made the day what it was, were the two rounds of chess Jeni and I played while Ethan napped. As yesterday was Tuesday and therefore date night, Jeni and I were faced with the options of either seeing a movie or going out to eat, both options we were less than enthusiastic about. I came up with the idea of finding a cafe', having some light dinner and finally teaching Jeni how to play chess. She was thrilled at the idea, and after dropping the kids off at Nana's house we were off for what would hopefully prove to be a good idea, as Jeni and I can be a bit competitive at times. We found ourselves at Panera and were both shocked to discover that more than half of the patrons were all on laptops, where have we been lately that this has become the norm rather than the exception? We settled into a deep booth, and I quickly went to work setting up the pieces for our first game. After a brief introduction as to what each piece was named and how it moved, Jeni was ready to dive right in. She learned quickly and was actually having fun, apparently too much fun, for she beat me in the first game, all though it was agreed that I wasn't playing to win.

Having survived her game intact, she was more than willing to play again, hoping to increase her winning record to 2-0. Jeni and I were both so engrossed in our game as we studied each others moves and planned for future moves, when were praised with a "You guys are really good". Apparently we had been watched for several minutes by someone waiting for his dinner. We remarked that this was only her second game, much to his surprise. The game progressed and we had yet another spectator watching us, all the while making Jeni nervous and thus losing her train of thought. The second game lasted nearly 45 minutes, evidence of how quickly she is learning, however this time I was victorious.

So back to today, Ethan was asleep, a fire was providing warmth and ambiance, Jeni had a warm cup of tea and the board was set for round three. Since she proved her mettle in the first two games, I took the gloves off so to speak, and lucked into a surprisingly early victory. Jeni was none to thrilled, but decided to have a go at another game regardless. The board was reset, and we settled in for another 30-40 minute game during which time the fire warmed our spirits and and our mood was concentrated but thoughtful. Ultimately I won the game, but Jeni has proved in just four matches that she will soon be tough to beat. We look forward to continuing our game play and eventually will teach the kids to play, as I learned to play at an early age as well.

Dinner will be over soon and the kids will be asleep, I will rekindle the fire, settle in with Jeni to watch a movie and cap off an otherwise perfect day. Here's hoping that tomorrow will be half as good!

Guilty Pleasure

2009-01-05T23:36:00.000-08:00

Fiona Apple. Maybe it's her eyes. Who knows.

A Resolution of Sorts

2009-01-04T19:05:00.000-08:00

I guess you could call it a resolution of mine, but I intend to read more this year. So far I am already on my third book, but technically I started reading while on vacation so hopefully that counts. Ultimately my goal is to be able to read a book a week or somewhere close to that.

The real reason for all of the reading is my goal to become a better writer, for no other reason than I enjoy writing. If time permitted I would love to be able to sit down and write everyday, but most of the time the real world gets in the way of that. Writing is something that I had always enjoyed doing, but since becoming an adult I haven't really had the chance to get much down on paper. I guess since I didn't have to write for anything in particular I just forgot that I had the ability to do so. Writing has seemed to come easily to me in the past, and so far it has come without much work involved again.

As for what I have been reading lately, I am steering clear of my typical military history non-fiction and thus far have read only fiction. First up was The Jungle by Upton Sinclair which I read on the cruise, and upon reflection may have had something to do with the food poisoning I received from the prime rib. After completing that, I moved onto Our Man in Havana written by Graham Greene which completely surprised me in how everything turned out for the vacuum salesman cum spy. Our Man was a real page turner, something I have never experienced when reading my usual military history, and therefore I finished the book in just a few days. As for the current selection it too is written by Graham Greene and is titled The Comedians. Having only just started it today I am only a few dozen pages into it, by so far the hook has been set. As soon as I log off tonight I plan on getting comfortable on the couch next to my wife who is also well on her way towards reading more this year. Interestingly enough since our vacation we have hardly watched any television at all. Sure we have our favorite one or two programs, but since returning I would doubt if we have watched a total of 10 hours of television. It almost feels foreign when we go down into the basement to watch anything. And lately we may flip around the stations for 30 minutes, becoming bored and agitated at the same time, simply to decide that we would rather read instead. Hopefully all of the books that I am reading this year will help to increase not only my vocabulary, which I feel is sorely lacking, but also help me to paint pictures with my words things that I am trying to describe. Rather than rely on a strict description of an object or scene, I wish to be able to describe it a bit more poetically and make the reader paint a mental picture for himself, rather than me telling him outright. It will surely be a work in progress, and only time will tell how much better, if at all I become at writing.

Well, time to run I have some reading to do. It seems these resolutions aren't so bad after all!

Looking West

2009-01-01T17:59:00.001-08:00

Photo taken January 1st at 5:09 pm. Even though the winter has only just begun, the days are already getting longer, albeit only minute by minute. January 1st, and I already long for the days of sunshine, short sleeves, and sunscreen. In just a few short months this same tree will be covered in leaves and full of life, offering shade to the children who play beneath it, for now though it stands stark and naked against the cold winter sky. And so I too will grow as the tree does, and will provide protection as my arms reach out and protect those that I love.

Endings or Beginnings?

2008-12-31T20:21:00.001-08:00

For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make and end is to make a beginning. -T.S. Elliot

A Gift

2008-12-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

She caught my attention early on. I wasn't looking for it, after all I was there to learn, little did I know how much she would teach me. It was something other than her beauty that first caught my eye. Maybe it was the way she carried herself or even the confidence she exuded, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I just new that this girl was something special. Days turned into weeks and yet I still couldn't muster the courage to approach her let alone speak to her. Things were starting to look good though, furtive glances began to be exchanged and ever so slowly we began to sit where each of us now knew that the other was interested. And then it happened, "good answer" I quipped, she smiled, laughed, maybe even blushed. A few days passed and we were both exiting the lecture, this time only a few seats separated us and so we started to chat as we made our way through the aisle and out into the hall. Having finished the last class of both of our days and not wanting to prematurely end our conversation we made our way to the shaded section of lawn and found a quiet spot under a tree. And it was there, April 19th 1994 that forever changed my life.

It turns out her name is Jeni. Not Jennifer, not Jen or even Jenny. Just Jeni. Jeni Rebecca if you'd like to know. Named after a song about a 4 day old precious baby girl. The song goes on to ask the newborn how she likes the world so far, and tells her what a lucky, lucky, lucky girl she is. Turns out I am the lucky one. I may as well have been a four day old when I met Jeni, because my whole life was ahead of me. Some may call it cliche', but I knew that first day while talking with her, that we would spend the rest of our lives together. I knew that there was indeed something special about her, and I couldn't wait to discover what it was. From that day forward, over 14 years ago, I have spent nearly everyday with the woman that I love. Talk about lucky.

...Dreams to be daring for Long as you're living Yes, you have Dreams to be daring for Long as you are living...

We have never stopped dreaming, we have always had grand plans. From the outset whenever we came up with a harebrained idea, we followed it through til the end and made it come true. Turns out we have been pretty lucky along the way, maybe luck isn't the right word though. Our lives, and our thoughts, and our wants, and our needs have been so entwined from the beginning that even our dreams and hopes can come easily to us. Easily in the sense that we both want something so bad that we do whatever it takes to achieve it, often times without even discussing it. There is no better feeling than to know that Jeni is often times thinking my exact thoughts and feelings and I hers. From the mundane to the heart wrenching, Jeni and I can seem to communicate on a level above words. The thoughts and feelings seem to pass between us as though they are spoken words, even though they may only be a glance or a look and often times not even that.

However I would be remiss if I am giving the impression that all has always been perfect. We have had our moments of disagreement, and I have made my fair share of mistakes. Perhaps the biggest mistake I have made was losing sight of what is most important in my life, Jeni. Taking not only her, but also my kids and ultimately my family for granted was the biggest wake up call in my life. While I often make light of most things in life, this was not to be taken lightly. The thought of living my life without them never occurred to me, and that my selfish behavior could lead to that shook me to my foundations. To say I am a changed man would be an understatement. Surely I cannot correct all of my faults overnight, but with each passing hour and each day of living, I would like to think that I am getting closer. Just being able to step outside of a situation for a brief moment and look at things from a different perspective has helped me to realize what is important to me, my family. Nothing else I do in life will change the fact that a woman has decided to love me with all of her thoughts and feelings and emotions, and that my sole responsibility to her is to love her back and show her in every way possible that she has made the right decision.

I want to continue to dream, not only for me, but even more so for my family, I want to show them that they matter more to me than anything else, I want to build a home that is full of memories that will never be forgotten, I want to not lose sight of what is important, but focus energy on what will make us grow together, I want to teach my children how to love and what it means to love someone, I want to learn how to love as I have been loved, I want to do the right thing the first time every time, I want to let Jeni know that without her I am not possible.

Jeni makes me the man I am. Without her love and support and guidance through our hectic life I would be lost. She understands me and accepts that I am not the best person. Try as I may I often fail to make the right decision, and yet unflinchingly she acquiesces and loves me none the less. For this she deserves better, my family deserves better, and better I will give them. As freely as the words come here and elsewhere, they do not flow freely from my mouth. I often am unable to express my thoughts and feelings verbally, much to the dismay of my wife. Try as I might they just don't come. This will change, in fact it has gotten a small degree better already, but just a bit. She needs someone who can tell her what he needs, what he feels, what he wants and desires. For many years I couldn't. Just now I am beginning to be able to. I can't wait when it will come easily, without trepidation, then things will truly be good. Until then it is at least progression. A progression I look forward to because it will at the least make me a better person, at the most it will make me a better husband and father. When I dreamt of the future, Jeni was always in it, from that very first meeting way back when we were so young. Now when I dream of the future Jeni as well as the kids are the main component. To make them proud of me and our family is now a dream I aspire to create. Hard work and sacrifice lay ahead on the road to that dream, but I am not averse to hard work nor does sacrifice scare me, and so I now set forth on that road with no thoughts of looking back.

Jeni Rebecca, four days old How do you like the world so far? Jeni Rebecca, four days old What a lucky, lucky, lucky Lucky girl you are...

In fact I am the lucky one, lucky that I get the opportunity to love someone who loves me back, has me in their thoughts and wishes me only the best. I am lucky that Jeni has blessed me with a family that I love and cherish. I am lucky that I have found someone who wants me to be the best that I can be and won't settle for anything less. I am lucky that I found her so long ago, I have never been the same and I am glad for that. I am a better person because of her, and she asks for nothing but love in return. I can't give her everything her heart desires, but I can give her my love.

I love you Jeni. Merry Christmas.

From 86 to 1

2008-12-22T20:48:00.001-08:00

And I am not talking about some end of the year countdown either. When we boarded the plane this morning in Puerto Rico the current conditions were 86 degrees, sunny and humid with light winds. When we debarked at O'hare we were greeted by a single degree on the thermometer, one lonely little degree. Once wind chills were factored in there is a great probability of perhaps a 100 degree swing for me in just a single day. I miss the Caribbean already!

So Long...

2008-12-12T19:36:00.000-08:00

The family and I are getting on a jet plane and heading to Puerto Rico where we will be boarding a big fancy boat. After a long year of cycling, and especially life it will be great to kick back, read a few books, get a tan and just relax. It will be nice to turn my phone off for a few days, okay at least not answer it for a few days. It finally dawned on me this evening that we were leaving when I changed my voicemail to "please do not leave any orders as I will be out of the country and completely unavailable". What a good feeling that is, somedays my phone is just relentless. On really bad days I can make and receive about 60 calls, and that doesn't even include texts. Ugh.

I probably won't post anything while I am away, unless we make it to a nude beach or something. Enjoy the cold weather these next few days, I will be thinking of you while I am sitting in a deck chair in the sun.

Finale' or Finally

2008-12-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what it was yesterday before the race and especially the days leading up to the finale at Montrose, but I just wasn't feeling it. It has been a long season both on the bike and dealing with everything team related. Now that the 2008 season is in the books, we have already begun planning for the 2009 season and all that goes along with it. There are sponsors to be found as well as commitments renewed with current sponsors. For the most part BBVP will remain unchanged, perhaps a few new faces will be joining the ranks.

As for me I will be taking some time off of the bike and will be spending some time on a boat. Cruise boat that is, as the family and I head to the Southern Caribbean for some much needed R & R. 2008 was a blast, and 2009 will undoubtedly be even better with all of the friendships that were cultivated along the way this year.
Congratulations to all those that competed this year and especially to those that pushed themselves to levels that they didn't know they could achieve. Sure its great to beat someone in a race, but ultimately, the biggest reward is achieving something that you didn't think could be possible.

I Love Mondays

2008-12-01T16:42:00.000-08:00

No seriously I really do love Mondays. I mean whats not to love? Lets take today for example. I left the house at 8:30 this morning and it took an hour to drive my usual 22 minute commute. Okay, so I wasn't off to the greatest start but I could get over that. After working a few hours it was time to get an oil change, the first oil change for the new car. As I am sitting in the waiting room I get a call from a customer who had forgotten to place their order the night before. No big deal as we now have a driver that works until 4:30 everyday. Or so I thought! I love Mondays.

Now for those that don't know what I do for a living, I am a salesman for a foodservice company. We supply restaurants with anything that they could need from dairy to dry goods, and poultry to produce and anything in between. As a salesman I drive. And drive. And drive. So thankfully gas has come down in the last few weeks. On Mondays I also work in the office over night since we let someone go in an effort to save a bit of payroll. So typically on Mondays I try and put in 4-5 hours in the morning and then a full 8 hours until 2am Monday night. So back to my story now that you have a sense of what I do. Anyway, it turns out we let the special driver leave early because we were slow so that leaves me with no option but to take the delivery myself. I love Mondays.

Well the dealership is in Matteson and the warehouse is in the West Loop and the customer is in Wrigleyville and I need to try and take a nap. Yeah doesn't look like the nap thing is gonna happen today. So I get in the car which I just had the oil changed at 5600 miles, just 600 miles overdue. Did I mention that the car is only 10 weeks old? Like I said I drive. A lot. Anyway I get in the car, pass a four car accident,a car in the ditch, a car on fire and make my way back into the city. I get to the warehouse, load up the car and go make the delivery. At this point it is 4pm and traffic sucks on the Northside. I try and do some Christmas shopping to at least try and salvage some of the day but nothing was really jumping out at me. At 5 pm I pull back into the lot at work and try and take a nap, but the Dr. Pepper from a few hours before is working its magic and the nap will not be happening. Its too bad since I have developed the ability to fall asleep anywhere and anytime, I have even taken cat naps during long traffic light cycles. I guess when you work 80 hours a week and used to wake up at midnight your body learns to adapt any way it can. I love Mondays.

Now I am sitting at work in a bit of a lull, already bored and not looking forward to another 8 hours. To recap my Monday so far, which is far from over, left the house at 8:30 am to which I wont return home until 2:30 am. Drove 113 miles so far and I still have to drive home tonight yet. Have been in the car for 5 hours and 23 minutes and again still have to drive home. When I get home I will sleep on the couch since I don't want to disturb my wife who will be sound asleep by then. Ultimately I will probably fall asleep around 3:30-4:00 am only to have the kids wake up around 6:30 or so, if not earlier. I love Mondays.

Home Sweet Home

2008-11-29T17:11:00.001-08:00

Jeni and I had tried selling our home last year, but we listed it a few months late, just as the bubble burst. We had over 70 showings but were unable to sell. In hindsight we are both pretty happy about that. We love our home, and have put a lot of heart and soul into making it our home.

Recently an interesting shift in dynamics seems to be taking place. Our parents house has always been the center of the family, but as all the kids have now left, their house is no longer the central gathering point. Our house over the last few holidays has taken on the role of the Nelson family gathering place. My sister and her husband and kids now spend their Thanksgiving weekend with us rather than our parents. And today as I was leaving for work I got the greatest compliment from Lisa my sister. She was so thankful for staying with us, and said that her trip felt complete, that if they were to drive staright home to Minnesota and not stop at her in-laws she would be satisfied. That said a lot, in just a few words.

The weekend was great, from the 16 we had for dinner on Thursday to the trip downtown. We have also started another holiday tradition, the day after Thanksgiving spaghetti dinner. With so many people still in the house, and no one wanting to really cook anymore, a quart of fresh made marinara and a box of pasta can go a long way to filling the belly and warming the soul. The highlight of the dinner had to be the garlic bread that was placed a little to close to the broiler resulting in flaming bread!

After dinner with the temperature still pretty mild we all made our way outside to the backyard for a bonfire. Logs were piled on and s'mores were made for the kids. The best part about the fire had to be the lack of wind, meaning the smoke rose straight into the night sky rather than pushing us further away from the warmth of the fire. The kids eventually found their way back inside once the marshmallow supply had been exhausted leaving the adults with some much needed kid free conversations. The evening was finally capped off with some friendly hands of poker before we all retired for some much needed rest.

As much stress as the holidays can bring with them, they also can make for some special moments, moments that build memories that a lifetime is built upon. And while it sure is nice to have our house back to ourselves, it does seem a bit lonley now that everyone has left. I am glad that we can provide a place for our family to build these cherished memories for years to come.

Re-Connecting

2008-11-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have been in a rut lately. Life at home has been a bit business like, with her taking care of household duties, me working, and the kids craving attention. Throw in the fact that for the past 8 Sundays I have been racing then going straight to work and you have a recipe for a lack luster marriage.

We did try something a bit different this Sunday though, and I hope we can continue the routine for a while to come. Yoga. Yep, thats what I said yoga.

The grandparents came and took the kids to the Pancake House as usual and rather than the two of us doing our own separate things, we rolled out some mats, pulled off our socks and actually took care of ourselves. Even though we spent that 30 minutes in silence, I feel that we connected like we hadn't in a while. It was interesting being just a few feet away, just listening to her breathing and knowing for those 30 minutes all was good. The instructor in the video kept reminding us to center ourselves and focus on the breathing and I believe we both achieved that. We finished up the 30 minutes feeling exhilarated and relaxed at the same time. All the while squeezing in a nice little work out to boot.

Sunday mornings used to be a blur of race preparation for me, and not enough time spent with Jeni. I'd like to think that yoga will now become our routine together. Something we can look forward to doing not only for ourselves, but also for our marriage. Hopefully we will be able to make the time necessary for one another in the weeks, and months and years to come. Unfortunately it becomes to easy to say that we can skip a week and do it again some other time. In the long run it will not only benefit each of us individually, but us as a couple as well.

Namaste.

The Center of My Universe

2008-11-19T16:51:00.001-08:00

We have perhaps the coolest toy in our house. About a year ago Grandpa got the kids a star machine. This thing is incredible! The stars rotate about the room ever so slowly and the shooting stars are really fun to find. The blue clouds cast a great light to "camp" by in the basement.

Some recent games have included; camping, explorer, star catching, bear following and spaceship to name a few. Of course I can't have all the fun myself and so I often include my two favorite stars at the center of my universe, Abbie and Ethan. I love the time I get to spend with these two, especially when we they are really using their imaginations. We spent a good hour just laying on the floor tonight looking up at the ceiling. We even took a star bath, which was capped off by Ethan asking me to wash his penis! Might I remind you that he isn't even two yet. I think Abbie and I came pretty close to wetting our pants with laughter at that one.

I look forward to these special moments and hope that I am able to remember them when the kids are older. Time has been flying by so quickly lately, Abbie just turned 5 and Ethan is quickly closing in on 3. Abbie has just started reading recently and it is really quite amazing to sit and watch her figure out a new word, something we take for granted. I have to make sure I cherish every moment, and not get too caught up with the rest of the world spinning around me.

My Alter Ego

2008-11-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

This is what I secretly look like when I am not racing! Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition.

I Think I Might Be Cursed

2008-11-16T05:17:00.000-08:00

Ever since I have been a homeowner it seems I have been cursed. I don't know about everyone else, but I change light bulbs on a weekly basis. Sometimes more than once a week. I might have to start saving receipts to see how much I spend annually just on replacement bulbs.

Since the start of November, I have changed no less than 5
bulbs, and today is only the 16th! What the heck is going on? And it isn't just in this house. I remember our last house I was changing bulbs like some people change their underwear. Is everyone else in the same boat as me, or I am single handedly keeping the light bulb business afloat?

Who Needs Stairmaster?

2008-11-12T10:06:00.001-08:00

I counted about 50 stairs in this picture, and this was the shorter of the two run-ups. Here is looking forward to Lansing this Sunday and its pan flat course.

St Charles Chicanes

2008-11-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

Fearless

2008-11-07T15:07:00.001-08:00

This is what happens in our house when the kids get bored. Trajectories get figured out, pillows get laid down, and bodies get flung through the air! I think there were only two injuries this time. Somewhere is a picture of Ethan doing this while wearing a pick leotard and ballet slippers, priceless.

Halloween

2008-11-06T04:49:00.000-08:00

Abbie and Ethan before we set out on Halloween. Abbie went as Elpheba, or the wicked witch of the West, and Ethan was a train engineer.

Knocking On The Door

2008-11-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

After 6 weeks of 'cross I am a bit closer to where I would like to be as far as the overall is concerned. My confidence is growing with every race, so one more piece of the puzzle falls into place.

Early season goals included cracking the top ten in races. However, as the weeks progress, I realize that I am no longer racing with the B's this year. Getting into the top ten seems to be slipping from my grasp ever so slightly. Hopefully I can figure something out this weekend at Northbrook that will work.

I guess we will have to wait and see.

2008-11-05T12:10:00.000-08:00

2008-10-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

Stats:

2008-05-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Name: Damon Nelson
Age:33
Hometown: Chicago
Neighborhood: Beverly